Radio Advertising Myths Exposed

I often talk with entrepreneurs desperate to get out of their annual radio advertising contracts because it's sucking the life out of their bank account and the promised flood of ravenous customers knocking down their door have never materialized.

Look, radio advertising is like a tornado -- if you figure out how to control it, it's like this giant invisible steamroller sweeping across the marketing landscape, rending listening prospect powerless to resist, and sucking all the cash out of their pockets into yours.

However, if you don't know how to control it, it will viciously turn on you, and you'll end up like the cow the tornado sucks off the ground -- legs flailing, bellowing fearfully, and puzzled as to the source of havoc being wreaked upon your life.

Gina, the owner of a greenhouse and nursery, was beside herself because for the last 9 months her radio advertising simply had not worked. But because of her contract she was obliged to pay over $4,000 a month regardless of he results.

Needless to say, she wasn't planning on renewing the contract for next year. She asked if there was anything that could be done over the remaining 3 months to salvage her radio advertising debacle?

Her commercials were appalling 15 and 30 second, so called "funny" quips about her store -- about half of them mentioned a product she carried, but none of them gave a reason why a customer should come in a buy something right now... you know, like a sale, discount or some sort of offer.

But the station had her spots running in a full "rotational" schedule throughout the day and night. You know... a "branding" campaign -- the philosophy being, that if customers hear your name enough times they will eventually choose you over your competitor when the time comes to buy.

Listen, what I'm going to say next is important and can save you thousands of dollars, not to mention sleepless nights and tons of aggravation, so don't doze off.

Here's the shocker... funny doesn't work! At least it's the hardest type of advertising to get results from and it's just not for small independent entrepreneurs. Oh, I know, you'll hear the "experts" say, "funny is money." But usually its the experts that make the money for creating the commercial that say it, not the business owner who's picking up the tab.

At the top of my list of concepts I loathe is the "rotational advertising schedule." It is the biggest pile of smelly, rotting, maggot infested garbage ever devised. It's like going duck hunting and systematically firing into the sky with the hope of putting up enough buckshot that a duck can't help but run into it! Oh yeah, that's a sure thing.

Was I able to provide Gina with a Quick Fix for her radio spots? Let's look.

Listen, there are lots of ways of fixing Gina's problem -- unless you're a radio account rep -- but the solution I came up with was both a quick and easy fix -- you're welcome to use it.

There were three things I wanted her to do immediately.

1. I had her begin to think in terms of giving the potential customers a reason why they should come in to her store and buy right now. I wanted her to start making offers.
2. I had her drop the 15 and 30 second spots and trade them in for 60's. Sure she gets fewer spots but what did she care, to borrow a phrase from my long departed grandfather, the ads she had were "as useful as teats on a boar."
3. I had her throw out the funny sh#%... er... a... I mean funny spots and use the "live radio show host call-in format." These are commercials where you make a live call in to the radio show host and he/she grills you about what's going on down at your store. And even if the station won't let you do it live you still call in and record it with the host as if it were live. And don't worry about making mistakes, it makes you more personal and believable.

It might go something like this...

Radio Host: We have Gina on the line today, she owns Gina's Greenhouse and Nursery down on Main Street. Tell us Gina, what's going on down there today?

Gina: Well, Dick, as we speak my guys are unloading a semi truck load of Royal Empress Tress, the fastest growing tree in North America.

Radio Host: The fastest growing tree Gina? Just how fast do they grow?

Gina: The Royal Empress grows 10 to 15 feet a year and are 40 to 50 feet tall within three years. Plus, it has a gorgeous and fragrant purple bloom.

Radio Host: So Gina, you said you had truck load of them?

Gina: Yes, I do Dick. I found 175 of them at a nursery that was going out of business so I bought the whole lot. And best of all Dick, I got them for pennies on the dollar and am passing on the savings to my customers that come in this week. So they can save over 50% while giving their home curb appeal. Yada. Yada. Yada.

Anyway, you get the point.

Did the Quick Fix work for Gina?

All I know is that Gina renewed her radio advertising contract for the next year.